the fashion blues.

since starting my blog a little over a year ago, I feel like I've been living some sort of a fashion dream. it looks nothing like the dreams I envisioned as a child when I was getting Barbie ready for her dates or when I was designing dresses during church sermons, but then again, the world has changed a lot since then.  the internet has presented unimaginable opportunities for so many of us, and the dynamics of the fashion industry have shifted in such a short amount of time.

when I started my blog I was just beginning to understand my personal style. only a year earlier I was sporting jeans and tshirts on a regular basis, thinking that no one could ever take those away from me. I feel like I'll never be able to repay the people who influenced me to start wearing dresses regularly. For the longest time I wouldn't wear them because I thought I had kankles (aka tree stump ankles), and the thought of being girlie terrified me. I was so insecure with my body, and I felt like jeans were the only thing that allowed me to shield it from the world. little did I know that jeans were far more unflattering than any dress I could've been wearing.

i feel like i've grown so much, not only in the fashion sense, but also as a person. this blog has pushed me out into the world to explore and find my hidden talents and to really develop my own point of view. as wonderful as all that is and as grateful as I will always be for that, sometimes I can't help but feel the downsides of this industry.

since becoming a part of the fashion world I feel like I've been going, going, going 90 to nothing:

buy, wear, photograph, edit, flickr, blog, facebook, twitter, chictopia, lookbook....
that trend is out now. this trend is in now.

buy, wear, photograph, edit, flickr, blog, facebook, twitter, chictopia, lookbook....
that trend is out now. this trend is in now.

buy, wear, photograph, edit, flickr, blog, facebook, twitter, chictopia, lookbook...
that trend is out now. this trend is in now.

you get the picture. sometimes this job is so pressing in that it makes me become so much more materialistic than I ever wanted to be. it's the constant consumption and the endless piles of clothing that are really starting to eat at my brain this week. i want the trendy wooden platforms and infantry jackets that everyone else will be wearing this fall, but as soon as I save up enough money, I'm too scared to buy them. will this trend stick around? is it worth my hard earned money just to have some cool photos this season? to be honest, I don't wear heels anywhere I go. if I buy trendy heels, it's pretty much just for the photos. I mean, the only place I really go out to is a dive bar, and I'd get laughed at if I wore heels there, not to mention the fact that I'm 5'7" and feel like I stand out too much when I wear them anyway.

it scares me that I'm feeling all this. I've worked so hard and invested so much time getting this blog where it is just to let it fall apart now. what good is a fashion blog for a minimalistic, non consumer? i talked to Jake about it last night, and he recommended that I take a little time off and let that passion fall back into place again. to be honest, I think the heat and the lack of schedule (no school or work) have had a lot to do with it, and I'm hoping that the passion will come back with the cooler temperature (meteorologist says it feels like 108 today). for now I'm just going to take a week off from self portraits.

I apologize to Annie for not getting her pretty 60's dress and floral boater hat styled yet, but I promise it'll be my next outfit. after trying to shoot it this morning and failing with that set of photos, I decided to walk away from it for today. instead I'm going to try to tackle that living room/studio tour I mentioned a while back. after that I guess I'll try to organize some of these massive clothing piles, and hopefully work some of the items into my shoot with Katy and Hootie on Monday.

if you made it this far, thanks for taking the time to read this, and if you related to what I was saying, please take the time to say so. as much as I would never wish the fashion blues upon anyone, sometimes it feels good to know you're not alone.

Two years and counting, home is whenver I'm with you.

Yesterday was mine and Jake's 2nd Anniversary.

We're hardly romantic and could care less about formal celebrations, and we actually forgot it was our big day until I remember it was the 5th and we had to pay rent! I told him all I wanted was for him to get in a couple photos with me. He did it, and it was a nightmare, the last time I'll ever make him get his picture taken. The photos are cute though. I don't have them edited yet, but in honor of the big day I wanted to repost something I posted back in October when my blog still a baby.

In October I made a trip to see my family in Alabama. This is what I posted when I got back:

My honey.

He loves me, he gets me, he inspires me. For my vacation to Alabama he burned me a few mp3's and told me not to listen to a particular track until my trip home to Arkansas. When I tried to listen it didn't work so I had to watch the video when I got home (if you want to be happy for the rest of the day, I advise watching the video too).

I'm from Alabama. He's from Arkansas. It's perfect.

"Home" by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes
from the Mondo Boys mixtape "Weird Summer"

Okay, okay, so I traded the video he showed me out with the David Letterman performance, but it's just so great to watch them live. They make me happy, and I think I'm obsessed with both the lead singers. I nearly tear up every time I listen to this song. I can't wait to see them at Bonnaroo!!!

Do you have a song with your honey?

The other reasons why I love Mom.

I guess I'm sorta partial on this issue, but I have to declare:
I think my mom is the best lady in the world.

She's the first person I call when something happens in my life, however miraculous or tragic it may be, and at the heart of it all, she's one of the very best friends I have around. So besides all the obvious reasons that I love her so much, here's a few other reasons why I think she's a fantastic lady.


For seeming like someone I would've loved to be friends with back in 1961.

For wearing gnarly combat boots with her white summer dresses.

For other obvious style choices and for keeping up with pictures like these.


For always putting up with my sassy attitude...


...and with all us needy children. You and dad have installed such great family values into our lives. You've given more than you've ever received, and you've taught us all compassion and kindness. I still think your a crazy for adopting five children after you already had four of you own, but I can't imagine life being any different now. Thanks for all that you've done and know that we will love you til the end of time. (No nursing homes, we promise!)

Dad, Jon, Mom, Traci, Grady, Wendi, Mary, Jessie, Kristi, Starr, C.J. & Dakota. Oh, and we can't forget Barney!

Back with the Shop Dixi giveaway winner later this evening.

Should I post this?

I had planned on showing you my new denim romper I wore on Thursday afternoon, but after discovering an online article I was mentioned in on Jezebel.com all my posting plans shifted to this.

It was basically talking about how perfectionist fashion/craft/diy bloggers make other people in the real world feel inadequate and how their seemingly perfect, romanticized lives only hinder the self esteems of their readers. While I was flattered to be mentioned amongst the "Marthette's" of our generation, the recognition only felt like a backhanded compliment by the end of the comment section. To be fair, not all the comments were negative by any means, most of the women actually defended the creative outlet that is made possible by the blogging community (including the author, in some aspects), but for the most part, the negative comments are what stuck out to me.

While I can definitely sympathize with what the author's saying-- I mean hello, do you know how I feel every time I visit Tavi's blog-- I don't agree with the feeling of inadequacy. The point of this community is to inspire! A year and a half ago I was just another girl in the world who went shopping at the mall and watched a whole lot of nonsense television, but girls like Rhiannon and Jennifer inspired me to seek out the beautiful places in my community. I can't tell you how many times I've felt a bit of envy whenever Erin tweets about her new purchases or when Carrie makes another jaw dropping movie, but I don't turn that into inadequacy, instead I use Erin's looks as inspiration to go find something at Goodwill and I use Carrie's inspiration to go out and make my own movies. I've built collages because of this girl, I've made hair bows because of this girl, and I've explored abandoned buildings because of this girl. This community has helped me to evolve into the girl that I always wanted to be.

Sure, I'll admit, a lot of my photos are a bit of a performance (I've told you a million times how much I enjoy storybooks and childhood characters), but that's just the point of my blog. I don't care if your a president, a princess, a top fashion blogger, or a factory worker, life is life..... is life..... is life..... is life. No one's life is perfect no matter how much it may seem that way from their blog. I have bad skin and a dirty house. I get in tiffs with my boyfriend, and I have my fair share of financial issues; problems are by no means absent from my life, and that's why I use this blog as an escape from the real world. It may be a bit romanticized and unrealistic, but that's just the way I want it. It's my fairy tale. My daydream.

Just to prove how not-so-perfect my life really is, have a look around my dirty house. You know why it's dirty? Because I'd rather go take photos and make silly movies than clean it.


Oh look, it's beenie weenies running down the side of the pan. And yes, all of those dishes are dirty.

new purchases/sale stuff/my never-ending stack of stuff to deal with.

My boyfriends pile of clothes that have been present since we moved in a year ago. As much as I want to, I'm not allowed to touch them because "he knows where everything is".

My messy work station and heaping pile of shoes waiting around since my canceled shoot last Sunday.


Oh and look, there's me with wet hair, glasses, and no makeup.

While my house isn't always this dirty (I'm a little embarrassed here), it's not necessarily ever 100% clean either. I can only hope I didn't gross you out too much with my far-from-perfect life, I just wanted you guys to see that I'm human.

This all just reminds me of an article I read in an issue of Allure a couple years back. I'm pretty sure it was titled "The Other Women", and it was centered around a middle aged, lonely women visiting another country and longing to meet some sort of companion. She met a guy at a bar one night and enjoyed several hours of conversation and laughter over a couple rounds of cocktails. He invited her to continue hanging out with him for the rest of the evening, but she reasonably declined in order to finish her work by the deadline. He was a nice guy but not someone she could foresee spending the rest of her life with. To make a long story short, the next morning she went walking on the beach and from a distance saw a beautiful and joyous couple walking her way. She was immediately envious of this other women and her seemingly perfect relationship, but once she got a little closer she realized that the guy walking beside her was the same guy she shared drinks with the night before. She realized then and there that she could have been the other women and that she just didn't choose to be.

All that said, it's easy to look in on someone else' life and think it's perfect, but don't ever let that make you feel inadequate. Please, let that inspire you! All you can do is find a way to be happy with yourself.

don't dream it. be it.

Hopefully this didn't come off as mean or pompous because that is in no way how I intended it. Thanks to all my new followers for taking an interest in my blog and all my old friends for sticking with me for this long. I'll be back to my usual postings tomorrow. :)